How to sleep at work

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Funny story - Love equations

Smart man + smart woman = romance



Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Dumb man + smart woman = affair

Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

A man will pay $200 for a $100 item he needs.
A woman will pay $100 for a $200 item she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die than single men.


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Funny picture - Creative Funny Outdoor Advertising

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Funny story - What in the world was that?

So a Texan goes touring in Australia. He wants to see some of the local agriculture.



His guide shows him a grove of grapefruit. The Texan laughs: "Why, in Texas, we"ve got lemons bigger"n that!"
His guide shows him a patch of watermelons. The Texan laughs again: "Why, in Texas, we"ve got cucumbers bigger"n that!"
His guide shows him an apple orchard. The Texan laughs a third time: "Why, in Texas, we"ve got cherries bigger"n that!"
Suddenly, a herd of kangaroos runs across the road. The Texan jumps up, startled. "What in the world was that?"
His guide answers, in a quiet, matter-of-fact voice: "Mice."


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Funny story - Husband or animal

"Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair.



"I"m very sick, would you please call me a vet?"
"A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?" asked his wife.
The husband replied, "Because I work like a horse, live like a dog, and have to sleep with a silly cow!"

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Funny picture - Proof That Girls Are Evil

Now you know why people said girls are evil, don't you?

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Funny story - Philosophy of a beggar

Why do you beg?”

“The truth is I beg to get money for booze (drink).”
“Why do you drink?”
“To give me the courage to beg”.

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