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Sunday, August 8, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Funny story - Love equations
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
A man will pay $200 for a $100 item he needs.
A woman will pay $100 for a $200 item she doesn't need.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die than single men.
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Thursday, August 5, 2010
Funny story - What in the world was that?
So a Texan goes touring in Australia. He wants to see some of the local agriculture.
His guide shows him a grove of grapefruit. The Texan laughs: "Why, in Texas, we"ve got lemons bigger"n that!"
His guide shows him a patch of watermelons. The Texan laughs again: "Why, in Texas, we"ve got cucumbers bigger"n that!"
His guide shows him an apple orchard. The Texan laughs a third time: "Why, in Texas, we"ve got cherries bigger"n that!"
Suddenly, a herd of kangaroos runs across the road. The Texan jumps up, startled. "What in the world was that?"
His guide answers, in a quiet, matter-of-fact voice: "Mice."
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Funny story - Husband or animal
"Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair.
"I"m very sick, would you please call me a vet?"
"A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?" asked his wife.
The husband replied, "Because I work like a horse, live like a dog, and have to sleep with a silly cow!"
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Funny story - Philosophy of a beggar
Why do you beg?”
“The truth is I beg to get money for booze (drink).”
“Why do you drink?”
“To give me the courage to beg”.
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Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Funny story - Little Johnny Boy
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying.
“Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”.
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stoop up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”
“No, ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself”
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Funny story - Make me feel like a woman
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
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